Hi guys! I’ve had something on my mind a lot lately and thought I would take a big step and post something a little more vulnerable. I have never posted a full blog post standing in a swimsuit so it feels a little weird for me too, however, I started this blog as a way to connect with you and to hopefully inspire you!
I am not at my ideal weight or shape or have my “dream body”. What I have is progress and this progress has been for myself. I think we have a big issue in society in where it is perceived that a woman goes about a change in pursuit of pleasing her guy or to try to get a guy. I love my husband (omg-I am married, say what?!) and this fitness journey that I have been on has been one million percent supported by Pat, but it hasn’t been for Pat. It has been for myself-to wake up everyday feeling motivated and feeling confident in my own skin. When I work out at the gym, I am always on the weight floor which tends to be more men. I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked “Who you working out so hard for?”, or have received “Where’s your guy at”, “Must be a lucky man”. In the past I would have politely smiled or would have ignored whatever was said. It has even surprised me more as time has gone on most of these people I have seen daily for the past year are aware of Pat and I being together. Pat works out every day too, and we work out every weekend together. There is a ton of familiarity at this point at our gym and I am just surprised that my accomplishments are mistaken for Pat’s possessions. This body that I am working hard at is not for anyone else to determine what it is for. This fitness journey is a 24/7 job. Every decision I make has been for my progress. Mine, mine only. If you are ever faced with this similar situation, I hope you are able to immediately spot it and know how to handle it. I have certainly experienced the typical “I should have said” or “can you believe he said that” and then to later be annoyed with myself for not having set the record straight.
Too often a women’s body is up for discussion. Too often a women’s body is considered the worth to the man she is with. I think it’s the small choices we make every single day that can bring about a change. I use to say nothing back to anyone. I would just smile and most of the time, pretended that I didn’t hear anything because my headphones were in. As I became aware of the choice of words I kept hearing, it started to bother me more and more. It sort of felt like I was working so hard and yet the emphasis was being placed on either Pat or some “guy” in my life. My Mom has always been a strong woman, one that speaks her mind and holds her own in every single situation she is faced with. I remembered one day I told her I was so annoyed that men were randomly making these kind of comments (For the record, it wasn’t every single time I was at the gym, just sporadically enough for me to realize a similar pattern in the message being communicated). It hit me like a ton of bricks when one day my mom responded with “Well if you’re so bothered by it, why don’t you do something about it?”. And that’s my other point. How could we expect change when we don’t communicate something is a bother? I was expecting a pattern in society to shift when I wasn’t doing anything about it. I began to change my silent answers and polite smiles to actually addressing the comments made. I don’t feel it has to be anything rude or said with an attitude but I started to respond with simple and direct statements. “You’re crazy if you think I come here every single day working this hard for someone else other than myself!” and one time I did respond with a little bit of sass and said “Oh yah, I’m working this hard for someone. My favorite person-myself!”. I think most of these guys are just trying to be nice and talk but I often feel our society doesn’t discourage comments men have about a woman’s body. For me, it’s my body so I am going to continue to respond directly from the heart- it’s mine and I am working on it for me. I hope you do the same. Stand up for yourself, your work, your goals those are things that you do for yourself. Go get it girl!
Would love to hear your thoughts! Comment below or shoot a quick email 🙂
xx, Brittany Ann
P.S. for my leopard bikini above-isn’t it the cutest?! You can see that it is less coverage in the bottoms so be aware if you decide to purchase! On our recent trip, I was surprised at how many other women were wearing these kind of bottoms. It’s a great suit for less tan lines and is only $15! Make sure you read the size chart- it skews smaller so look for your actual numeric size and choose that! Free shipping and free returns- too cure to not try, am I right?
Shop my Leopard Bikini: